quick update...will post pics soon

inspection went well (yay!) ~ seller is having foundation work done this week. we already knew all of that so some of the issues on the report will be resolved when that is complete. everything else is workable and not affecting my decision at all. :)

this is really it! I am getting my very own house in a month!!!
I took the girls to see it yesterday and they loved it! of course, I had to pry them away from Andrew's toys and repeatedly told them the house does not include the toys...ha ha
They loved the backyard and the park behind our house. They already picked out which room would be their bedroom and which was the playroom. They have decided that they will take all baths in my big bath tub. I can't wait to make this a home for us.

I do have pictures on my mom's camera - just need to figure out how to upload them...will do soon!

thanks to everyone for your kind words ~ I really appreciate it so much *hugs*

things are moving fast around here :)

~check for earnest money sent to title company
~all my application paperwork signed and sent to mortgage company
~home inspection tomorrow morning

then I cross my fingers and wait :)

hoping to close on March 17th - what a great way to spend St. Patrick's Day!! depending on Monika's work plans, she may be out by that date or will have to stay until the end of the month. I am planning for the first weekend of April ~ just in time for my 42nd birthday!!

I am taking the girls to see the house on Sunday and will take lots of pictures then. I can't wait for their reaction to their new house :) They are going to love it!!

so I can finally say it...I got the house!!!

I am so excited, relieved, overwhelmed!!!

I have been thinking about how things have played out the past couple of months. I had a therapy appointment today and realized so many things during that session. I am blessed. I have so many things to be thankful for. Yes, I am mourning the loss of my 17 year relationship and everything that goes along with it. But I am also proud of my strength and focus. I knew I had to take care of myself to be able to take care of the girls. I am ready to find myself again - I have missed "me".

So back to how things have happened...I have met and become close to some amazing friends, many from DAM (local mom's message board). From that board have come many opportunities and resources and ideas...including the latest: a simple post about a house for sale in Carrollton!
I knew the name, although she didn't post much. But when I met her, I felt like we had known each other for a long time. And when I walked in that house, I just knew it was meant to be ours.

I can't wait for playdates with the kids, dinners with friends and bubble baths when I have some time to myself! Thank you for the thoughts and prayers...thank you for the support...thank you for being my friends ~ I am blessed :)

I am a nervous wreck...

I cannot think about anything but the house today! By all accounts, everything looks good to go. Brad (realtor, Traci's husband) and seller agreed on a price - just waiting for them to send back the signed contract!

I think about how to paint, what kind of furniture to get, where I will hang my calendar! LOL


I am also nervous because we will have to talk to the girls soon. I have been telling them about looking at houses and that I found a great house for us. I haven't said anything about Mama being there too. I think Ava might be sensing what is going on to some degree.

It is going to break my heart to tell them. Although they are probably better able to handle it than I am giving them credit for...

Hope to have an update soon...fingers still crossed!

sunday...

I told you it was a busy weekend~

so I started this day picking up a couple of things that I had bought from DAMers (Angie now knows that is not a lesbian term! ha ha). I finally got to meet Nicole and her girls!! I bought cute matching bedding for my girls - I hope this will entice them to sleep in their own beds once we move.

then off to meet Brooke for a cool printer/scanner/photo printer machine I bought - can't wait to use it for printing pictures!

since I was in the neighborhood, I called my poor neglected friend Amanda and asked if I could pop in for a quick visit. She is one of my favorite people - even though we don't have the same opinions about some things - she is a riot and genuinely kind and generous!

then off to Wylie (!) to see my friend Alison and her new baby girl Eleanor. I picked up some dinner for the family and got to hold the baby for a while. I have always liked Alison - she is so gentle and laid back. Her husband seemed to have the same kind of temperment and was so nice to talk to. Her kids are adorable and I hope to get them together with Ava and Zoe soon - I think they would get along great!

I actually had a couple of other plans for the day but was so beat from all that driving that I just had to go home! so rainchecks for Cheryl and Wendy :)

saturday...

I felt like I spent all weekend in my car!! But I got a lot done and saw some good friends, so it was worth it! :)

Saturday, I woke the girls up to give them their Valentine's presents. I got some cute red purses at the Target Dollar Spot (love that!) and filled them with goodies: Valentine shirt, Kelly dolls, books, little stuffed horse with a heart on the rump, and a couple of other little trinkets - and only one piece of candy, a heart lollipop! They loved them and I wanted to be sure and spend a little time with them since they would be with Bridget most of the weekend.

After my al-anon meeting, I met Traci to look at a couple of houses. I was so disappointed in the one I was really excited about. You just can't tell by the pictures online. So we talked and Traci convinced me that the right one would come along and to be patient (not my strong suit). We had a nice talk over coffee at Starbucks and I am so glad I chose her and Brad to help me with this journey. It's scary and I need someone I can trust. :)

So then I was off to see M&K and the triplets again - because who can get enough of cute babies??? They fed me lots of yummy food and I had a great visit! It was musical babies most of the afternoon - holding, playing, feeding, sleeping. I loved every minute of it!

I also drove .5 miles away to see the other house I was excited about - the one not listed yet.
Let me just say this...I suck at keeping a poker face! I LOVED this house!!! As I drove up, I thougt about the cute curb appeal. Then when I walked up to the house and walked in - I just knew it was the right one. I immediately could see the girls and I living there. The backyard is too die for - absolutely perfect for us. And the houses back up to a semi-private park with walking trails...so cool! So now we start the process and hope it all works as it should ~ I would love some prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes, whatever you got!

I ended the day the same way it started...in bed with my beautiful girls and telling them how much I love them.

"change happens, deal with it"

of all places...this is a quote by Jaime Pressly in this month's Shape magazine! But I am going to make this my motto for now.

I was in a foul mood ~ Bridget is gone more than she is home. I was tired and resentful of having to do everything myself. But I thought about a few of my single mama friends and those whose significant others are gone a lot. I realized that they do what needs to be done every day and night because they have to - and so do I. I need to just deal with it! Amazing what a change of attitude can do to lighten the load :)

Happy Friday, ya'll!!

fingers crossed...

I have found a handful of homes in Carrollton to look at this weekend - including one that fell in my lap from a DAMer! Well, not so much fell, but pushed by Micki! ha ha

I am beyond ready to be in my own place, so I am hopeful that something comes through soon.
I want to decorate and set up new rooms for the girls. I want to have friends over for dinner and playdates. I want to plant a garden. I am ready!

so frustrated...

I am at odds with how I should be feeling right now.

Bridget was with her sister all weekend ~ she is dealing with cancer and needs help after her chemo treatments. I understand that and I love Jeanette and would help her with anything myself if needed. But there are other siblings and family that can also rotate the weekends. Bridget is not spending time with the girls like she needs to be. Never mind the fact that she is not doing any of the household things that are also necessary for daily life with 2 children. I want to say something but know that it will be taken wrong and completely out of context. I am trying to formulate my thoughts and write something down for her. I think I am going to tell her to take care of the girls this weekend ~ her dad and stepmom want to see the girls anyway. There are so many things that need to be different but I can only be responsible for me and my actions. It makes me sad that I have to tell her these things ~ she should be initiating time with the girls. I know she loves them but she needs to grow up and take responsibility.

I am trying to get in with my therapist this week - I need some direction and help with communication. I am wondering if we should still think about couples' counseling, to help with parenting stuff???

I slept in...

The girls were at mom's last night and Bridget is at Jeanette's this weekend. I slept in this morning until 10am! I cannot remember the last time that happened! Of course, I was up on the computer until 2:30 last night but still!

So now to get ready for the day...we have a birthday party at the Museum of Nature & Science for Imogene ~ she is 2 today!! Happy Birthday, Immy!! :)


I really need to add pictures to this blog ~ I am on the hunt for a digital camera so it should happen soon.

a nice Saturday...

I overslept this morning and missed my Al-anon meeting. But I spent a little time with the girls, knowing that I wouldn't see them tonight, so that was ok.

I took them to mom's while I met Traci to look at a handful of houses. No luck :(
I am a little discouraged. I am afraid that I won't find something I like in my price range and in the area that I want. But I am not lowering my standards - this is the house for long term, while the girls are in school. So it has to be a good fit for us. I am confident that Traci will find something that is just right - I need to work on my patience (not my strong suit!).

I also got a chance to visit my favorite triplets and their mamas ~ my friends M & K and their gorgeous babies who are almost 6 months old now! M met me at the door with a baby and an little overnight suitcase - ha ha! I got to feed Sage and rock her to sleep - what a sweet feeling :) I am in awe of how these babies came to be! It's going to be so fun watching them grow and develop their own little personalities and characteristics. I will try to spread my time between them next time - I need some Levi and Jillian time too!

Then I met a group of friends for dinner and drinks. I knew most of them but there were a couple that I met for the first time. What a fun group! My cheeks hurt from laughing so much!! They were crazy and funny and so welcoming. I am enjoying my time with friends - it is helping me with all of the other stuff going on.

It is still surreal that B & I are splitting. I guess it won't truly hit me until I move out. I am thankful that it is not ugly and we are getting along. We just need to be a united front for the girls and show them all the love they deserve. I don't know how we will eventually tell them but I hope they know how much we love them.

I am going to be 42 in two months...I don't get hung up on age, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I need to get motivated about getting healthy. I have been doing fairly well on my eating but still need to exercise. The hard part is finding the time (and energy) to fit it in. No excuse will be good enough - I keep looking at friends who have made changes this past year and am so proud of them. Brandie has lost almost 80 lbs! That is amazing ~ I want to do it too.

Speaking of changes, I had one, single, solitary Hershey's kiss on Friday. I had been craving chocolate and co-worker kept filling her dish, so I let myself have one. But it didn't lead me to eat 5 or 10 more like it would have in the past. So I think that is a pretty successful baby step so far...but I have many more to go!

Thinking of Gretchen today...

Today is Gretchen's birthday. It is still hard to believe that she is not here anymore :(
I know she had a rough life and went through more than her share of troubled times. But I am so proud of all of the things she did and the amazing daughters she has. Her laughter will always ring in my heart and my memories. She was definitely the life of every party.

Happy birthday, my friend...you are terribly missed. We all love you!

I have been neglecting the "A" & "Z" part of this blog :)

A couple of funnies from the girls...

We co-sleep and as much as I am ready for my very own bed, I do enjoy the closeness of sleeping with the girls and watching them sleep and hearing them talk & giggle in their sleep.

So this morning, we were all lazing in bed for a few more minutes. Zoe put her head next to mine and said "we're best friends"!

Then I was rubbing my eye or something and lifted the eyelid - apparently my eyeball rolled back and Ava was fascinated. She said "I'm going to have dreams about your eye going away! Do it again!"

I'll remember to post more of these - my girls keep me laughing as much as they make me crazy!! :)