Tuesday, March 31, 2009

do you ever feel bad for feeling good???

I am not sure if I will explain this well or not...
I almost feel like I should be worse off than I am right now - if only to prove my love to Bridget and our life together the past 17 years, KWIM?

I was devastated when Bridget told me how unhappy she was and was wanting to get out. I hated that she was so selfish and self-centered to not go on with the life we had planned. How dare she do this to the girls and to me.

But as time goes on, I am able to see things a little more clearly. I see that I did not put 100% into this relationship and didn't make us a priority. I do not take 100% of the blame though and we are both responsible for the ups and downs. I still wish that we could have the life we both hoped for. But for now, we are going our separate ways. We will always be connected, not only because of the girls but also because of our time together.

But I feel good right now. I am so proud of myself for what I have done. I have a home for me and the girls. I am making time for myself now. I am reaching out to friends and family. I am feeling strong for the first time in a long time.

I am trying my best not to feel guilty about it. Guilt is such a nuisance, isn't it?

So here is my PSA for the day:
Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Do not feel guilty for any of it. Continue to grow and nourish your soul. Reach out to others and help however you can.

I am feeling a little bit mushy today, but it's all good.


  1. Eh it's good to be mushy every once in a while. I think you're doing great! And good for you for staying positive!

  2. I'm so proud of you, Girlie!!!! You're such a great Mamma and good friend! I'm sorry for everything that you & the girls are having to go through. I can't wait to see the new house! Our crew will head over as soon as we're able. Hugs to you, my friend! Stacey

  3. You are doing great! Cant wait to see pics of the house and the girls playing in the back yard!