Saturday, January 31, 2009

Getting my oxygen...

Wow, today was a really interesting day for me.

Wendy took the morning off - for a much deserved rest :). So I went to the Al-anon meeting on my own for the first time. I had already read the current chapter in our book, which was good because I was 15 minutes late and missed the reading! But I made it for discussion. It was about "taking care of ourselves" ~ pretty timely and appropriate, right???
I was raised with 2 extremes - my mom taking care of everyone else's needs and not her own and my dad who only took care of his needs and no one else. So I saw one as a martyr, who was guilt ridden for even considering her needs and the other as selfish. I am striving to find the "balance" (my favorite word). One example in the book was about the safety rules on an airplane ~ use the oxygen on yourself first, then help the others with theirs.
I need to make sure that I am getting my "oxygen" first (good health, sleep, me time) and then I will be able to take care of those who need me. This is my #1 goal right now. As hard as it will be to put me first, I am going to do it and not feel guilty about it. It makes me a better person, mother, friend.

I also started working on my boundaries today. I dealt with a situation much differently than I had in the past. I started to change my plans to accomodate Bridget, to make things easier for her. As soon as I got off the phone, I felt all that resentment and anger well up inside of me for allowing it to happen. I called her back and calmly explained that I could not change my plans and needed her to fulfill her obligations like we had discussed. I was so proud of myself! She got defensive and a little pissy, but I stood firm.

Lastly, I had a grown-up night out with my very best friend (of 31 years). We went to dinner and had fabulous Thai food and then to the symphony for a wonderful performance! I had explained to the girls earlier that I was going out with Aunt Wendy and that Mommy needed time on her own sometimes. I told them that it made me a better Mommy. While I was getting dressed, Ava was watching me and said "You can go out this time but you can't go out by yourself any more". Ha Ha! punk! She's lucky I love her so much! :)

2 comments:

  1. realness....doesnt get any better.

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  2. I think you taking care of yourself will be a great lesson for the girls. You don't want them to grow up thinking they need to worry about everyone else & not themselves, right?

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